Creative Writing Challenge: 2AM Photo

Reblogged from The Daily Post:

For some of us, blogging is personal. Others are trying to educate or entertain; many more are hybrids. Yet we’re all storytellers. Creative Writing Challenges help you to push your writing boundaries, show off your blogging chops, and, hopefully, spark more post ideas.

To participate, tag your post with DPchallenge or leave a link to it in the comments. (It would also be great if you could link to this post to encourage people to take part – the more the merrier!)  Your post should be specifically written in response to this challenge.

Read more… 390 more words

Addicted!

How can something wrong feel so right? How can something you always warned everyone else against, hit you right in the face and make you like it? How is it that even if you know all the risks about something and the possibilities of bad endings,  you are still capable of overlooking it? The mind is funny that way isn’t it? It thinks logically and makes a lot of plans for you – gives you do’s and dont’s too; but when the time comes to apply them – it just shuts off! And all you can feel is this warm gooey feeling all over you, which just doesn’t let you pacify your brain into thinking again. We take the chances, go against the odds and hope that everything works out even though we’ve warned several other people from doing the same.  But then again, just about when that warm gooey feeling is taking you into an entirely different world and making you feel great, your brain decides to make an appearance qnd whispers out the dangers to you. What are you supposed to do then? Ignore that little voice and continue feeling great? Or think logically – stop it if there are chances of you getting hurt? How do you stand by and watch as your brain then gets split into two halves – one arguing logically and the other one being more appealing. Yes, in most cases we will go against the odds anyway because letting go of a good opportunity for contingent problems seems unreasonable – even to the mind. So here I am, hoping despite all the evidence that it’s worth the risk and that it works out somehow.

The best week of my life!!

Okay so last Sunday I was a calm and content individual with not much to look forward to in the future. If you know me, calm and content almost never happens with me. But it was so, because we had just finished ACME 2013 – my college’s annual commerce fest. Since I am in 2nd year BCom, I got to play a major role and the entire month of January was wonderful for me as I got to bunk classes, do research, meet new people, interact with my seniors, organize mock rounds, get sponsors and a lot more. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and it was supposed to be the best time of my life (and it was at that time, as this week hadn’t happened). It all came to an end on 2nd February (which was last Saturday) and so Sunday morning I sat at home – calm and content – with nothing much to look forward to. There was something I dreaded and that was my CA IPCC results. It was practically my first attempt (since I didn’t study last time) and that was supposed to come out somewhere around the 8th of February. Now I wasn’t too sure of passing and as the result date came closer, there was a sinking feeling in my stomach. But last Sunday I didn’t think about it much; I only thought about the vast expanse of unplanned time ahead of me and what I could do with it. As I sat thinking, I got a call from the Secretary of Commerce Association of my college. Wondering if I had left anything unfinished from the post-ACME work, I picked up his call. But what he had called to tell me was, that I had been selected for Samanvaya 2013 – the commerce fest of the reputed Jain University, Bangalore. Now this was my first outstation fest and Samanvaya is known to be one of the toughest fests in the state. And since I had just finished one whole month of preparing for our own fest, I didn’t really have the energy to go for one more fest. But since it was an opportunity to go for an outstation fest, I knew I couldn’t say no. So I said yes, and went online to hunt for the fest’s site and its prelims. But what did I find instead? That my IPCC results would be out on 5th February! And as the fest was on 6th and 7th, I would be leaving then! The next day was spent entirely in turmoil as I fretted about what shoes I would wear, how I would fare in the fest, what my results would be, etc. I also didn’t have a laptop and as I was tired of borrowing, I decided to go buy a laptop. My parents agreed and I went to the DELL showroom. But since the model I was looking for wasn’t in stock, I was told that the best I could do was to take a smaller alternative model with me and collect it when I came back. So I got a second-hand laptop with me and when I went back to college – voila! We were supposed to leave that very night, instead of the next night. If you’re wondering why the plan got changed suddenly – it didn’t; everyone just conveniently forgot to tell me about it! Feeling very welcomed in the group, I set off to Bangalore that night prepared to meet my doom the next day. When we reached Bangalore, I got a very confusing prelim and just as I began to get a direction for my prelim report – I realized I didn’t have my IPCC hall ticket with me. When I called up home, my mom said she couldn’t find it. To make matters worse, the CA institute in my city was having a national conference that day and hence was closed. If it hadn’t been I could have retrieved my hall ticket number from them. So I called the regional head – the Chennai Institute. But after a  non-cooperative response from there, I gave up. I figured I would find out my results only when the marks card came home 2 weeks later. After sitting dejectedly for a while, I decided to give it one last shot. I called the Board of Studies - Center for CA Exams in Delhi and – tadaa! they happened to have it! After giving them a few details I got my hall ticket number and I was so relived. I knew I had a lot of work to do but I decided to take a nap just about then. My brain just didn’t seem to function when my results were about to be announced. Unfortunately I overslept and was woken up only when my phone rang – which happened to be a call telling me that my results were out. As I switched on my laptop and went to the site, my hands were shaking and I had to repeat the entry of  details a couple of times. When the page finally loaded, there was a moment of silence and then everyone was screaming all at once because – yes – I had passed!! But the happiness was short lived as we all had to submit our prelim reports for the fest that night. In the sudden rush of happiness that followed, I completed my overnight amidst all the calls from my family and friends. After very little sleep I got up to face the fest which led on to another two days filled with reports and presentations, fun and stress, challenges and excitement – basically the whole experience of festing. I am not going into the details of those days, but after two days of lack of sleep and hunger – I actually won my individual event!! I secured first place in my very first outstation fest – one that I wasn’t even willing to attend in the first place. After one extra day of pure majja we got back home, where I had my brand new laptop waiting for me. A few other things happened on my last day in Bangalore which I am not comfortable disclosing on this blog, but all in all – it was a perfect week!! Winning my first outstation fest, clearing IPCC and getting my first laptop – has got to qualify for the best week of my life!

Baby-in-line?

What do you do when you are waiting in line for something and you land up next to a baby and its mother? Babies are always adorable, especially the round, chubby ones. but you never know how close you should get to the baby. If you get too close and start playing with the baby the moms might get offended and think you’re a baby-napper or something. But if you don’t show an adequate amount of interest in the baby, the mum gives you this look that says, “what? You don’t think my baby isn’t cute enough for you?” Also, babies are very sensitive. Sometimes when you just look into their eyes they get all excited and start giggling happily but sometimes the same look can get a baby to start wailing in the middle of a super market. And when that happens, everyone around glares at you as if it was your mistake for not understanding ‘baby-language’. I remember this one time there was a baby sitting next to me in a movie theater – about 9 or 10 months maybe. Initially I didn’t even notice her – yes, she was that quiet! But during the second half of the movie she grabbed a tiny tuft of my hair and started patting my shoulder. I smiled at the mom politely and went back to the movie. But then she wrapped her tiny little hand around my little finger and that nearly brought me to tears. She was just so beautiful that for the rest of the movie I couldn’t help playing with her and tickling her. (Well the movie wasn’t that great anyway) after a while she was practically in my seat so I just lifted her and took her in my arms. That is when I saw the mum again. She was giving me that look I give people when they steal my popcorn. Feeling intimidated, I felt like shouting, ‘ hey lady! I’m not stealing your popcorn! I’m just taking your baby!’ Then this other time when I was waiting for my turn in the parlor, there was a baby again who kept drawing my attention. But this time I remembered the movie theater incident and decided to keep my distance. But unfortunately this time I think the mom wanted to show her little baby off to strangers and didn’t like the fact that I was barely showing attention. Now I really feel stuck when the baby-next-to-you situation comes up. Also when the babies are this young, it means that the mom just went through pregnancy and labor not very long ago and has probably not been getting enough sleep since then. So interpreting these glares from moms is even more trying than interpreting baby signs. So what do you do when there’s a baby in line? :O 

Happy Birthday To Me

I’m turning 19 this year and frankly I wasn’t very excited about my upcoming birthday this year. For all eighteen birthdays till now, I’ve been over the moon when it comes to my birthday. But for some reason.. this year I wasn’t that into it. I guess those are the fatal signs of growing up :-\ When we were talking about this, my friend managed to describe birthday blues in most accurate way possible. Remember when we were in school and we would have to stand in front of the class on our birthday while all the other kids sang happy birthday? Being the birthday kid I would feel so out of place because a pair of 60 eyes would be focused on me and I would have no idea as to how I was supposed to behave. Of course, there were some kids who absolutely loved the attention, but us shy kids would be on the verge of running out of class or maybe hiding under a table. And ever since then, the day before my birthday became a terrifying day for me. I’ve always hated being in the limelight and this time the birthday blues are as worse as they can get. Initially I was in the ‘I couldn’t care less about my birthday’ phase but as the day drew closer I couldn’t help but get excited. I didn’t have anything planned for my birthday and that is why I started feeling a little low about it. But the last thing I wanted to do was to be sad on my birthday. So I knew I had to do something to lift my spirits. Of course, the first answer was shopping! (Obviously) and that definitely did a huge part in getting me to be excited about birthday. But I wanted to do something more, something special and something just for me. For over a week I hunted for and idea and I finally found it. Fish spa! though I’ve been to a fish spa before, I had never been to one in my hometown. But a fish spa recently opened here and I knew it was the perfect option for me. Initially it sort of got cancelled but at the very last moment it was back on! So I’m sitting here now, half way to heaven – what with my feet getting the royal treatment and all.

I spent 20 minutes looking at the tiny fishes hovering around my feet and legs and now I’m getting a pedicure done. And when you haven’t had the chance to get a pedicure done in ages, it really comes close to being heaven! Add getting an hour to yourself without any disturbances and using it to write, it does become heaven!

Blink and its gone

Okay so I admit I got lazy and gave up on my blog for a long time. Yes, I took a break from blogging citing studying and emotional upheaval as my main reasons.When I look back, that sounds stupid because writing would have probably made it easier for me to get through a few tough days and it would have been a stress buster during continuous studying sessions as well. But at that time, I didn’t feel inspired to write and I’ve never written a word without some inspiration. And so I didn’t. But now things are different. I was a good writer, on the route to be a better writer and I don’t want to give that up. I might be a little rusty, my content might not be very good and my blog may not be getting many views, but I told myself that I would continue to write no matter what. So yeah, I’m still uninspired and on most days I force myself to write. I set targets and make myself accomplish them. But though my posts aren’t very creative or innovative, it still makes me happy when I write. And I think that’s the first step and the creativity will slowly come back. I really hope I don’t give up on it this time. And as of now I am using every last ounce of willpower to make myself stick to this blog. And I read somewhere that you only have a certain amount of willpower to use everyday. If you use it to keep yourself on a diet in the morning, you will have no willpower left to study in the evening. So at the risk of putting on a few extra pounds, I am using all my willpower to keep writing. In order to help myself write I’ve taken these tiny steps right now:

• I keep memos and reminders on my phone and around my room
• I’ve set aside an hour every night to write
• I installed the WordPress app on my phone so that I can write anywhere
• I am using the following sites to get some inspiration

Inspiration Monday

750words.com

oneword.com

And the problems I am currently facing are:

• I can feel my hold on grammar and punctuation slipping
• I desperately need to go back to typing class (God I am so slow!)
• I can never get a good and catchy title
• I don’t seem to be getting much traffic – the comments and suggestions to my posts would really keep me going before
• I do not want to use a picture from google to support my posts anymore, but I pretty much suck at clicking photos (also my phone only has a 3 mega pixel camera)
• Before, a lot of my posts would involve things that happened around me. I’ve been sitting at home for the past month and a half because of exams and I barely go out – so I have nothing to write about from my surroundings
• which brings me back to the problem of inspiration

So, I’m dealing with these things for now. But another thing that has been bugging me is how much change that has happened since I was last here. When I logged into wordpress after around 6 months, the site itself took me by shock. Well all the changes with the site are good and technology does change fast, but it feels so horrible when I don’t know how to use a few features which used to be at the tip of my fingers before. The wordpress people have sort of shuffled my dashboard around and it looks terrific but I just don’t know how to use it properly anymore. That makes me feel sooo old – and I’m just 18! Plus, I see that what happened to me has also happened to a lot of other people. When I visited a few of my favorite blogs, I noticed that the bloggers had been absent for a while and most of them had been caught up in work, school and life in general. Its so sad to see such good writers, take a break from writing. Seeing these blogs in this state is sort of making it a little hard for me to keep writing. But nevertheless, my brain has now split into 2 halves. One which ensures I keep writing and the other is the meek and cowardly writer who is just about coming out of hiding and is sprinkling some confidence and creativity over me. Also, another problem I forgot to mention, is that I have a hard time coming up with a good close for  my posts. For example, I’ve said all I had to say in this post and I have no idea how to close it now. But I think leaving you hanging is slightly better than me continuing to ramble on and on about the same topic. So, that’s all folks. I’m done.

Diya jale, jaan jale – Happy Diwali!

It is that time of the year again! Yes, the festival of lights is back! Hindus all over the globe are cleaning their homes, lighting diyas all around the house, distributing sweets, buying new clothes and having the time of their lives. This festival marks mainly the return of King Rama of Ayodhya after 14 years of exile. It is said that when their King returned home, the citizens of Ayodhya lit up their homes with lamps to mark his return. Ever since, Diwali has been celebrated. Other important aspects of Diwali include, Lakshmi Puja, Naraka Chaturdhashi, Dhan Teras, etc. (no I am not explaining all that. There is something called wikipedia meant for that ) The most important part of this festival though, is undoubtedly the lighting of lamps. So if you could just stop and think for a minute, do lighting of lamps also involve lighting firecrackers? Of course, they are an immense source of light; but they are a bigger source of noise and air pollution than of light. We have our simple, innocent and harmless diyas to provide light. And we cannot forget the electric lights that we can put up to provide extra lighting in place of fire crackers.

Diwali might be one of the most auspicious festivals for us, but I think being a bit environmental friendly is more auspicious than getting carried away by the festivities. During Diwali the level of sulphur dioxide in air rises by 200 per cent. In addition to this, carbon monoxide, nitrous oxide, sulphur dioxide and other elements like chromium, cadmium and mercury are released during the bursting of fire crackers. The crackers contain harmful chemicals such as lead, magnesium, zinc and copper all of which release toxic fumes when burnt and cause pollution. This is one of the major causes for ozone depletion as well. Do we really want to live in an environment where we are inhaling so many toxic fumes? Celebrations are necessary, but in light of the current environmental wreckage we need to tone down the celebrations a little. Lets try and celebrate diwali in a more eco friendly way from now on. For me, this is the 8th year without crackers. Instead, I light diyas around my house, put a rangoli, distribute sweets, and spend my entire cracker allowance on shopping! For those of you who have already stopped using crackers, lets try and spread the message; and for those of you who haven’t, how about you start trying now?

This is what I did in my house, post links of your diwali pictures in the comments below and I’ll upload them here.

This is what Bharath Rao sent me

The Key To Dying

I lay awake most nights, thinking about him. Wondering how he actually did it. Thinking about it is different, I’ve done that a million times; maybe even before him. But actually mustering up the courage to do it, well that is something I can’t figure out. How did he do it? I wonder..

Here I am, lying awake yet again; thinking about him. How did he lie there? Wasn’t .. he .. scared? How did he …. ?

…

HUH? What just happened? I guess I must have fallen asleep. But I swear I heard something. Someone, perhaps.. ‘Hello? Is anyone there?’

‘Yes Ricky, I’m here.’

‘Sam? What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.’

‘I am dead. But you keep thinking about me all the time. So I had to come back and answer your questions.’

‘Oh.. all right.. then tell me.. how did you do it?’

‘The key to dying Ricky, is to die on the inside first. If you are going to be thinking about mom, dad and Jo when you have a knife to your throat, you will never be able to do it. You have to be dead inside. Your senses must be dead. You should learn not to care about them, about life. You should be convinced that whatever comes afterwards is better. Or you won’t be able to do it Ricky.’

‘Dead on the inside? So you didn’t think about me before you slit your throat? You didn’t think of mom and dad crying all day? Why Sam? Didn’t you love us anymore?’

‘I did love you Ricky. And I will always love you guys. I realize that now. But like I said, you have to be dead on the inside. So that day, when I decided to do it, I didn’t realize that I loved you.’

‘Do you think I should do it Sam? I hate living in a house that mourns your death every day.They have forgotten about Jo and me. Even Jo and I have forgotten about ourselves. And you will be there for me when I do it, won’t you Sam? So it won’t be that bad right?’

…

‘Sam! Don’t just stand there and smile! TELL ME! WILL YOU BE THERE FOR ME IF I DO IT? SAM I NEED YOU TO ANSWER ME! TELL ME SAM! TELL ME! SAM!’

‘Ricky?’

‘Is it better on the other side Sam? Is it better than this life?’

‘Ricky?’

‘I need to know Sam, I really need to know!!’

‘Ricky?’

‘Sam’

‘Ricky? RICKY?’

‘Sam?’

‘Ricky! Wake up!! Its me – mom’

‘Mom?’

I opened my eyes. She was standing there, teary eyed.

‘He .. he.. is gone Ricky. He’s .. been .. gone .. a .. a .. a .. long time.’

As she broke into a sob, I hugged her tightly. I don’t know how he did it. I can’t be dead inside. I can’t forget I love these people. I just can’t.

‘I love you mom.’

Inspiration Monday

Inspiration Monday (InMon) is a weekly writing challenge designed to spark your imagination. Every Monday, five vague writing prompts are posted, with which you can do anything you like.  The rules are as strict or as loose as the participants choose, and genius inevitably ensues. This post was a result of an InMon prompt.

Little perks of life

Living right next to your school always has its advantages. When my dad was a boy, his house was right in front of his school. And he says that he could see his classroom and the staff room from his dining table itself. So he wouldn’t leave for school till he saw his teacher getting out of the staffroom and he would still make it to class on time. I live right behind my school. And though my dad stayed in an independent house, I live in a flat. I can see my primary school playground from my room and the roof of the rest of the school. Though I couldn’t see my teacher getting out of the staffroom, I could here the bell loud and clear from home, so I wouldn’t leave till I absolutely had to. Also many a time, my parents have stood in the balcony and waved out to me and the rest of my class when we had p.t. And when you are 10 or 11 years old.. that’s quite a thrill to you!

Of course, once I got out of school none of those applied to me. And since I start college earlier than school and finish later than the school, when I’m home I only get to see a quiet building from my room which hardly qualifies for a school. But the days I have off, I am often woken up by the shrieking pre-teens singing during the morning prayer! They murder the national anthem every single day when they sing it and I keep asking my mom if we were that horrible when we were in school!! She tells me that we were worse every single time!! :/
Then as the day progresses, I can sometimes hear some of my teachers screaming in class.. and no, my flat is not that close to the classrooms – its a good 10 feet above – my teachers were just that loud. They are probably the reason I’m a little hard of hearing today. And not all the loud music I constantly listen to as my mom seems to think. Sheesh ma!
During recess I look at the kids playing in the ground. When I see a bunch of 3 girls walking hand in hand, I think of my two best friends and me. When I see a larger bunch of girls glaring at these 3 girls I remember all the girls I used to hate. I see them playing the same games I used to, laughing and shouting just as I used to. Nostalgia, I tell you!
When I feel really low and can’t get myself out of my bed I go and watch these kids. And for some unexplanable reason – it gives me inspiration.
There are also a few other perks like being able to watch all the school cultural events that take place on the ground, watching them march on sports day etc. Also, since there is a bell every 40 minutes, it really helps me keep track of time when I’m studying!
So I thought these were the advantages of staying near your school. But today I discovered another advantage. As I was walking home today, I had to pass by my school (as usual) but since its a working day for them, for once I actually got to see little girls sitting in class instead of seeing empty classrooms which is what I normally see when I go home from college. Today I saw my eigth grade teacher teaching her class. And though the’ve changed the uniforms, the colour of the buildings and the principal since I was there, most of the teachers are still the same. And so I could see her instructing the little girls and yelling at one or two naughty ones just as she would yell at me. She had a very quirky way of yelling at you, which made you want to laugh but you couldn’t because your teacher was yelling at you! I saw the same expression on her face after so many years. All I wanted to do at that moment was to rush into her class and hug her. But then I figured it would be slightly awkward if I did that! So you see.. staying near your school always has its advantages.

Hello World! (once again)

Hello again!! Its been ages since I’ve posted anything!! 3 months to be exact!! And I cannot tell you how disappointed I am in myself! I am two months away from my second blogoversery and I have done nothing to develop this blog since then! I remember how this time last year I was busy scheming to increase views on my blog by my first blogoversery. But then when that day finally came, I wrote a short half -hearted post indicating the significance of the day! I had promised myself that in a year’s time I would double my average views but right now it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen! Its strange that something that meant so much to me suddenly started to seem to fickle that I pushed it to the back of my mind. Not only did I stop writing, I stopped reading and listening to music too! I’ve been estranged from a lot of things off late and I’ve recently (somewhat) come to my senses! So even though I’ve said this endlessly, this time – I hope I stick to writing and blogging! So this a whole new world for me all over again!!

Lost Shoe

After a really long time, A post inspired by - Inspiration Monday!

When I was small I had one pair of shoes which were my all time favorite. I would wear them to school, to play, to functions and sometimes even to bed! I wouldn’t let anyone else touch it because they meant the world to me. I do not remember exactly why that pair was so important to me but to date I can remember the broad smile I would give the minute I saw them each morning. In a little girl’s world – they were everything that mattered. But then one fine morning I woke up, got dressed for school and went out to put on my shoes – but! They weren’t there! I looked all over and practically turned my house upside down but I couldn’t find them. As I sat dejectedly on my front porch my Dad came out and made me put on another pair in a hurry. That was the first time my little mind could remember going to school without my favorite pair of shoes. All day that day, I would look down and wish that I was wearing my shoes. Without them, I felt incomplete. That was a very sad day for me – at least in those simple times it was! The next morning I sat down on my porch again, not wanting to put on my other shoes. My dad came out again, and this time he realized that something was wrong. When he found out it was all over a pair of shoes, he laughed. He then told me that the things in our lives wouldn’t be with us forever. No matter how much we love it and want to stay with it forever, there will come a time when it has to go. Times will change and we will have to move on. And that was just a shoe at the end of the day. So he asked me to put on the other pair, carry my smile along with me and go to school. That was my first lesson in life and that day I went to school and thought about other things. By the end of the day, I had forgotten all about my favorite shoes. I always wondered what happened to that shoe but I guess some mysteries remain mysteries forever.

Many years later, when missing shoes were the least of my problems – I met a person. A person so similar to me, that it surprised me. The more we got to know each other, the more we realized that we were distinctly alike. We would often say – we are the same but we’re different. That person knew practically everything about me and I began to think that I knew a lot about him too. After a really long time I felt like I had a friend who could really understand me. We became the best of friends and were always together. We helped each other out and never hid anything from each other. I had a new best friend and this thrilled me! But after a while I began to feel that this friend was being a little distant. I tried to understand what was going on in his life and I tried to help him, but the more I tried to help – the more distant he seemed. Eventually, I couldn’t even get through to him. There was this lost look in his eyes which I couldn’t understand. He moved so far away that I couldn’t find my best friend in him anymore. I searched in his eyes, for a glimpse of that person that I had seen in him. But it wasn’t there. As I pondered over this change, I remembered my lost shoe. I had never really found out where it had gone, but I remembered my dad telling me that not everything remains the same in life. I realized I had to move on. I picked myself up, put on a smile and went on with my life. If he needed me, I would always be there for him. If not – it would be yet another mystery of life.

Bestselling Author Shares 3 Tips for Building Your Blog Audience

Reblogged from WordPress.com News:

After moving from New York City to Chicago and getting married, Rachel Bertsche realized that her new life was missing one crucially important thing: a local best friend. So she decided to go on one friend date every week for a year, and she documented her quest on a WordPress.com blog at MWFseekingBFF.com.

But before Rachel even started the blog, the 27-year-old writer put together a book proposal based on her search for a local BFF, and successfully pitched it to agents, and then editors.

Read more… 717 more words

XOXO – Hugs and kisses??

I grew up telling the people around me that hugs were freakishly over-rated! People would hug each other for seemingly unnecessary reasons and it would annoy me to the core! Moreover I couldn’t stand it when these people thought they had to share their hugs with me!
I meet an old friend – a hug, I meet an old aunt – a hug.
I see someone after a weekend – a hug.
I get good marks – a hug, I get bad marks – a hug.
I hurt myself – a hug, I get a present – a hug!

Why?? I could never – for the love of God – understand why these people needed to hug other people so much! I would often think, ‘can’t everyone just maintain a little distance from everyone else and deal with their joys and sorrows from afar?’ I had something against physical contact with most people, so the constant hugging business practically made me nauseous! I especially hated those people who loved to hug so tight that you could practically feel every bone in your body as well as in the other person’s body! I would make excuses, throw tantrums and everything else I could think of, to get away from hugs. Some friends even thought that when I was really upset everything would be better by hugging me! Yeah! one tight squeeze could probably make me shed a few calories but not shed some grief! But no one really got that! Whenever a friend was going away on vacation or for an internship I would say goodbye with a firm handshake and a smile and most of my friends would feel offended. They began to think I didn’t care enough, and well – they were my friends at the end of the day – so I decided I needed to make them happy and live up to their expectations. If it was a hug they wanted it would be a hug they got! ‘How hard could it be?’ I asked myself and convinced myself that it was just like a blood test or like ripping off a band aid or like getting a tooth plucked out! The pain would last for just a moment and then it would be over!

So thus started the hugging business – at all times when a hug was called for I would hug the person and even pretend to like it! My friends thought there was a miraculous change in me but little did they know that every time I hugged a person I would think, ‘I’d rather have the band aid.’ But everyone was happy and I fulfilled my social and pointless responsibility of hugging people! But just when all was well in the world, in came another crisis! I was upset one day and when my friends saw that, they all rushed over to hug me. And in my mind I was going ‘baaaaaarrrrrrffff!’ I couldn’t uphold the social duty of hugging in this minute of sorrow! But did I have a choice? Me being the do-good-er that I am I had to do the right thing and allow people to – yech! – hug me!

It was then a habbit among all my social equals to hug me and expect a hug back whether the moment was dark or bright! I wallowed in my own misery as I hugged person after person! And I cribbed everyday, silently – to myself, about how much I hated hugs!
As time passed, I grew up and entered a fine college with fine specimen of today’s youth – vibrant, energetic, filled with ideas! There was just one problem – there were all addicted – to HUGS!! This place was worse than the one I had come from – here, people would hug each other just as a way of greeting! I would regret even saying hello because that would mean it was ‘hug-time’. I had to get accustomed to pulling that band aid off several times a day and there’s this thing about band aids – you can only pull them off a certain number of times without getting annoyed. And the same was the case with hugs and me. That much physical contact in a day was more than what I could bear! Nevertheless, I did it – day after day – without complaining!

Then came one curious day when I was all alone at home and feeling a little blue. I didn’t know what was happening or why I was so low, but I did know that all of a sudden, for some insane reason – I wanted a hug! I couldn’t understand why I was acting like this and decided to blame it on teenage hormones! But no matter whom or what I blamed it on, I realized that the only thing that could make me feel better – was a hug! That was the moment when I was enlightened! I realized that this cruel world I lived in had managed to drag me in too! The last standing soldier had fallen and I too was addicted! I decided to accept the change and move on. After all, everyone made mistakes! From that day on, there was no more pretending! I would hug everyone of my own will and would even enjoy doing so! Days passed in this manner and then came this one day. Yet another day which started off pretty well as I had had some pretty exciting news! But I couldn’t share it with anyone as it had to be a surprise. So there were no hugs there. And as the day progressed it didn’t get any better.So I sat up till midnight pondering over issues. Just about when I was done going around the same problem over and over in my head, I realized, how desperately I wanted a hug at that moment! But there I sat – all alone with no one but my pillow to hug! I didn’t know what else to do, so I sat down at my computer and began writing about how I used to think that hugs were really over-rated…

Midnight Musings – What is writer’s block?

Okay, so this is going to be one of those posts which are typed at mid-night, have absolutely disconnected paragraphs and may not amount to much! Except its 01:00 in the morning and not 12:00!

So for the past few months everyone around me has heard me cribbing about my woes related to writer’s block. I’ve been telling anyone who is willing to listen that the words just don’t flow anymore and that I don’t feel like writing that much. To sum it all up I thought at the bare age of 18, my writing career had been shot dead. But now that I can’t seem to sleep and I don’t have any other preoccupation, I wonder, What is writer’s block? Is it that phase a writer goes through after he/she writes a bad article and is too scared to pick up the pen/keyboard again? Or is it just normal people who love writing but somehow find it difficult to incorporate it in their lives and like to blame this lack of organisation and time management skills on a myth called writer’s block? Its just a name given to a state of laziness! Because if the words do not flow that freely or if I just don’t have it in me anymore, then how come when most of us pitiable writers suffering from an acute case of writer’s block manage to come up with something decent when we work on a deadline? Because our ass is on fire? Probably!

Another excuse I often used is my earlier articles seem way better than what I’ve been writing off late.. Well you’re writing isn’t going to get any better if you’re too scared/lazy to write because you’re next piece might disappoint you yet again. Every writer is allowed to have bad articles; but this doesn’t mean that we are bad writers. The only criteria to be a writer is – to write! So as long as you keep writing, no matter what it may be, you will still be a writer. Now whether your work is good or not is subjective. Sometimes you might be too harsh on yourself and criticize your work more than it deserves and some other person might call it excellent. You never know what the reader gets out of your words. But that is not your problem. Your job is just to ensure that your readers have something to read from you. The appreciation that may/may not follow is not up to you!

Now I don’t know exactly why I am writing all this down, nor do I know why I am posting this on my blog. But I do know that I am now officially out of that funk called writer’s block. I do not know whether my content is good or not but I will not stop writing because of that! I am sure that eventually as my flow of thoughts become more clear, my writing too will improve. I also do not know whether this is a note to myself or to other writers who might be interested in reading my blog and I do not even know whether this makes sense or not, but its 01:15 in the night, so it needn’t really make sense. I could be sleep-writing even! I hope at least this puts me to sleep or else I will have to look towards the next best midnight past time after writing – a mid night snack! mmmm.. Okay now I’m hoping I do not fall asleep soon because I just remembered whats lying in the fridge!

And they lived happily ever after!

I’m 18 years old, almost done with my first year of college and I’ve got two more years left! I’ve made amazing friends in the the last one year – some totally new people and some people who were always around but I never really realized how special they were! I know that two years from now all of us will be entering completely new worlds and while some pursue higher education, others will start working! Most of us will leave our hometown and venture into the world. Obviously this process of settling down takes years! And while we are busy trying to find a foothold in the enormous mountain of life which we set out to climb, we will have little or no time for friends! I have seen this in other people’s lives and from a long time I had been convincing myself that the same would happen to me. Up till a year ago, I was sure that these friends that I would make in college would be with me only for a period of 3 years and I had no issue with it. But as the clock ticked and that moment drew closer, I started fretting over the fact that I have very limited time with these people! I didn’t want the days to fly by and I didn’t want that day to arrive when I would have to say goodbye. I would stay up late into the night thinking about that day and more than often, there would be tears in my eyes. I didn’t want my prediction to come true; the prediction being that once you are thrust into the outside world, you will not have space for friends in your life. So I was in a point in my life where I was desperately trying to cling on to something important, but the more I held on – the faster it slipped away.

Then last night I went out for dinner with my family and on the adjacent table sat a woman who was approximately 60 years of age. She kept looking at her watch and I wondered who she was waiting for. Around 20 minutes later three other women walked in and when the four of them saw each other they were laughing and screaming and hugging each other! For that one moment when they saw each other they all looked beautifully young. As I observed them talking animatedly, it became obvious that these were bffs who went really long back! I could practically see 16 year olds talking among themselves in these 60 year old women.

That bunch of women gave me hope. They showed me that friendship could last – literally forever! I do not know who those women were, where they lived or how often they saw each other or what the situation was exactly, but I did see friendship in them! A sweet and loving friendship. I could see me and my girls sitting at that table a few decades from now. This might be a very silly thing to take inspiration from, but it did inspire me nevertheless. It inspired me to stop thinking about how to deal with moving away from my friends and to start thinking about ways to keep in touch. I do not know how much I love my girls or why I love them but I do know that I want them to be a part of my life forever! I’m going to enjoy the next two years as much as I can and hopefully after that we’ll be as close as ever.

I’ll find out about that two year’s from now – so I won’t continue to fret over it! For now I just want to believe in a different kind of ‘and they lived happily ever after.. ‘ These are my girls – the ones I’ve known for a really long time now and the ones who probably know me the best!

And while these might be my besties there are so many others I do not want to lose!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those people who make you feel good when your not, those people who turn everything from imperfect to simply perfect, those people whom you begin to miss even though it’s been just a while since you’ll parted , yeah , they are friends and I have got amazing ones! you guys are the best gift ever!

(courtesy – Deepika Vasani)