Love and Practicality

I miss those innocent little times when my days were filled with barbie dolls and my nights with fairy tales. Right from then we were made to believe in Prince Charmings, happy endings, love stories etc. All our lives as little girls we lived with the hope that one day there would be a prince charming and a magical fairy tale-ish love story waiting for us. But then we grew up and reality hit us! We realized that there were no fairy tales, tooth fairies and santas. There were only compromises, mirages of happiness and an occassional person who gets lucky and finds true love. These fairy tales seem so distant now. I cannot believe that I actually ever believed them. But a part of me also envies that little me who was capable of such imagination and belief. Just when we had fallen in love with these fairy tales, society made us grow up and face facts. We had to become practical. And today, we’ve become so practical that we wonder who makes glass slippers? whether Rapunzel ever has split ends and why Snow White hadn’t been given glucose drips when she was in coma.

v/s

Today love seems like a theory to me. Which is understandable but not easily applicable. Most of us look around all our lives desparately hunting for love, often substituting it with other shallow meaningless relationships. We trick ourselves into believing that every tiny emotion is love because we are scared that the probability of two people who are made for each other actually meeting each other is against us.

A Couple/The World Population = 2/7000000000 = 2.85714286 × 10^-10

Of course, Indian girls have the other option of arranged marriage, which after seeing the number above is a relief actually. You know that your parents will find some guy for you who is remotely like you and you have a remote chance, but a chance nevertheless at being happy. A lot of people criticize the Indian marriage system, but I’ve found that it does work at times. It has the same rate of success that love marriages have, and since the latter includes going out, socializing, finding a guy, getting him to like you – whoa! doesn’t sound like something people like me are capable of. From the time girls like me (who don’t get noticed much, have a small friends circle, cannot woo a guy, girls-only school types, who have more brains than beauty – you get the type) start noticing guys in that way we start picturing very fancy  soul mates, as we don’t have a lot of experience with guys and don’t know what guys are actually like in a relationship. As a result our dream-boys usually have a mix of Shahrukh Khan‘s charms, Salman Khan‘s body and Hrithik Roshan‘s dance moves. So again, when reality hits and we notice the real, average-looking guys around us, most of our dreams are shattered.

When we were around 12-13 our ideal guy would have been someone who

• loved us
• danced/sang/painted/wrote poetry
• cooked
• did gooey mushy romantic stuff for us
• agreed to every little whim and fancy that we had
• never looked at any other girl
• loved and respected his family
• etc etc etc.

around 5 years later, we come to a stage where we want a guy who

• doesn’t smoke/do drugs
• doesn’t have his jeans below his butt
• texts us every now and then
• doesn’t have too many whims and fancies that we have to agree to
• looks only at girls and not at guys
• atleast has a family and is still in contact with them
• etc etc etc

I wonder what will happen by the time we are 25?

So my basic question is, after all these confused notions of love which have been inspired by fairy tales, movies, books etc what are girls like me supposed to look forward to? A marriage which involves more family obligations, children and cooking than love? Or hope to some day be lucky enough to find that soul mate – however remote the chances may be! Is the modern Indian teenage girl more practical than romantic?

the gawky stranger

When Berry and Ray met for the very first time, they looked right into each other’s eyes. They were standing in two different corners of the cafeteria and though the place was crowded it was easy for them to look right at each other because both of them were tall. Unusually tall. When Berry saw him, she thought, ‘wow. a guy as gawky as me.’ And when Ray saw her, he thought ‘hmm.. a tall enough girl.’ Then when they both realized that the other person was looking at them a strange thing happened- a single thought occurred to both of them. ‘He/She might be the one!’ It was like all the other people bustling around the cafeteria became tiny ants and they could see nothing else but the gawky stranger in front of them. Then for the first time in her life, Berry smiled at a guy. It was the easiest and most natural smile she had ever given. And then the bell rang. Suddenly they both could see and hear everyone else around them and they felt very stupid.

***

That evening when Ray got on the bus he saw the girl again. Though she didn’t see him, her presence made him smile. A week later he mustered up the courage to talk to her.

***

A month later when Berry stepped into the restaurant for her first date with Ray, she realized that the place was very crowded. And when she looked up and saw her date across the room her eyes lit up and she smiled- something which she had been doing quite often now.

***

The day they filled out their college applications Ray picked up the phone and called his girlfriend and asked her, “Hey. You’re not changing your mind are you? We are applying to the same college right?” He smiled when he heard her say “Of course. Why would I change my mind?? “

***

Berry frantically walked up and down the hall. She kept looking at the phone. Ray’s call was due. His job interview should have been over by now. Her parents wouldn’t let her move in with him until he had a good job. Though she understood that they just wanted to protect her she also thought that it was quite silly of them to ask him to get a job first. It’s not like they were getting married tomorrow.

***

Ray slammed the door and stormed out. He stood outside for a minute but when he heard her cry he left the building. Not today. He needed some time to think. Some time to be alone. They had fought in the past. All through the 7 years that they had been together- they had fought like any other couple. But this time it was different. This time there was a possibility of the whole thing ending. He sat down on an empty park bench and considered the option. Things had not been going well lately. But after a moment or two he realized that the 7 weeks that were strained were nothing compared to the 7 years of bliss they had had. No. No, he could not let her go. They had been through half of high school, the whole of college and the beginning of their first jobs together. Why would he want to give up all that on a few strained weeks??? No way. What had he been thinking? This was Berry!! The girl he loved! He could never let her go. And definitely not over some silly argument.!! He ran back to their apartment.

***

Ray fidgeted with his hands as they walked through the park. He thought of the first time he had seen her. Across that cafeteria a million years ago. An odd thought had struck him, that this would be the girl he would end up with. How stupid had it sounded back then. But today as he ran his fingers over the ring in his coat pocket, it didn’t seem so stupid. When he popped the question, her eyes welled up with tears and she hugged him tight. He wanted to laugh loudly and scream and sing and thank the universe and its creator at the same time. He didn’t know which one to do, so he just hugged her tightly and began crying before she could. He knew that all his life he would be made fun of, for laughing before the bride to be. But he didn’t care. As long as he could have a family with her and tell their kids and grandkids about this day, he didn’t care if they would all laugh when they heard that he had been the first one to cry.

***

As she looked into the eyes of the man in front of her, she could see the reflection of her white gown in his deep, black eyes. She thought of all the moments they had shared-laughing, crying, studying,cooking,yelling,snuggling, relaxing, hugging and she couldnt think of a single person she would rather spend the rest of her life with.

She focused her thoughts on the priest and smiled as he began to say the most important words of her life.

“Do you take Rayner Evans to be your lawfully wedded husband, to share your life openly, standing with him, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in hardship and in ease, to cherish and to love, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Do you take Bernadette Mitchell to be your lawfully wedded wife, to share your life openly, standing with her, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in hardship and in ease, to cherish and to love, so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”