just my rambling thoughts – 2

here’s part 1.

ok, so this may be partly influenced by the princess diaries – but only partly!! for some time now i have noticed that when i am sitting in class, or going home, or watching a movie, i have some interesting idea on which i could write a blog post. but by the time i come home and get to my computer i often forget what it is. so i have been carrying a little book around in order to write down these small little ideas i have. but unfortunately, these little ideas turned out to be really ‘little’. meaning, i can’t make individual posts out of these, because they would turn out like this. so i am combining everything i’ve written down so far into one blog post.(which might end up being a little long, so please bear with me)

people

isn’t it weird how distinct two people can be? what could be interesting to one person could easily bore another and the way two people would react to a situation is usually different. every now and then such different people are thrown together and a beautiful experience is generated or a strong relationship is established. i find it really exciting when i meet a new person and we talk about our tastes and preferences, our lives, our passions and so many other things. it feels so good to find out why people act in certain ways and what makes them who they are, to get into their heads and to understand the way they think. the discussions we often have that are practically never-ending, the stories we share, the jokes we crack, the memories, the laughter – it’s so wonderful to remember that you had at least one profound moment with so many people in your past and enthralling to know that its going to keep happening with more people in the future who will give you so much to learn from.

but yet, so often we look for that one person who is like us, who thinks like us, who laugh like us and more importantly – that one person who understands us. all these people around us, who we have memories with, but sometimes fail to understand us, may not be the person we are looking for, but they are here, they love us and are trying their level best to understand us. so smile, and be thankful for all the people in your life.

Running Away

i have been running away from this issue for a very long time but today it just hit me in my face and i didn’t have a choice but to face it. our education system completely sucks!! all everyone cares about anymore is getting marks in some meaningless exam. even lecturers only a want a good pass percentage for their classes. they are not capable of answering our questions if it is slightly out of the syllabus. today a fellow classmate asked my lecturer why we were studying what we were and she asked him to shut up. it was a valid question. what is the use of studying this particular thing? shouldn’t all of us be able to answer that particular question? but we are asked to shut up because it doesn’t fall into our syllabus. and people say students `do not ask questions. memorizing is more important than understanding and attendance is more important than learning. i can no longer run away from the fact that we live in an unreal world where the quality of everything is deteriorating.

Alone

i walk in a crowd, with a huge group of friends, but i feel alone. even among friends there are tiny groups, i have mine too, but the truth is – i am alone. i listen to everyone , to all their stories, their laughter but somewhere inside there is this yearning for someone else, for something else, for someone to understand what i feel. i see people look into each other’s eyes and just understand. i want that!! i’m not talking about love, i’m talking about something else. there is this closeness that i cannot feel, a happiness that i am missing. i feel stupid sometimes for being around my friends, for saying certain things, i feel like i don’t belong. i feel left out, i guess. sometime ago, i thought i had that person who understood me, but i was wrong. that feeling was inside me for a very short time and then it faded away. and now i know what i am missing. and i don’t like it..

what makes a post tick??

when i log in to wordpress and look at all the articles on freshly pressed my cursor automatically jumps to one of the articles. without even thinking or reading the titles i choose which article i would like to read first. all of them have pictures and i don’t even read the titles.. so what is it that makes posts tick?? how do people choose one post over the other? which part of our mind (conscious or subconscious) decides what looks better and needs to be read first?

is it the title? (but i don’t read the titles) is it the visual aids? is it the colours? or is it the space it occupies on the page? (top left corner, mid-left, mid right, bottom right corner, etc) seriously.. what is it????

the dog, the rain and my passion.

Image via Wikipedia

It was raining pretty heavily. But I didn’t care. With every drop of rain that touched me I felt more secure. I felt like I was disappearing into the rain, and the wind was taking me away with it. But a part of me was still in the present; looking at every tiny object around me- romanticizing it all! I had been like this for quite sometime now and I had no idea why. I barely spoke to my friends any more and I didn’t concentrate on anything I was supposed to be doing. All I ever did was analyze everything, look at life from a different perspective, a different angle. I thought about everything I wanted to do, all the places I wanted to visit, all the food I wanted to eat and all the colours I wanted in my life. I sat at home, watching movie after movie, in languages I didn’t even understand. And I loved it! I loved the peace and the silence I kept all around me. But I also had this thunderous roar sounding within me. And with every drop of rain that touched me, just as I was floating away with the wind, I was also looking for answers. And then I saw this dog sprawled on the pavement and he seemed like the only one on that pavement who espoused my policy of gripping the rain. He seemed as away from the world as he was with it-just like me. Then it hit me. I was shutting them out because they weren’t what I was. As in, I belonged to another world. A world filled with writers, filmmakers, critics and artists. And a world with a whole lot of colour. They loved me but they didn’t understand me. I needed someone to understand my need to watch movies in languages I didn’t understand. I needed someone to understand my need to stay silent in the midst of a huge crowd. I needed someone to know that I yearned to laugh and cry at the same time. And I also needed someone not just to know these things, but also to understand them, to feel them and to go through the same stuff with me. And all of a sudden I felt happy because the dog understood me. The dog was with me. As petrified I am of dogs I was still grateful for that one dog, because in that moment-he had made me happy. So I left it all there- the dog, the rain…