I miss those innocent little times when my days were filled with barbie dolls and my nights with fairy tales. Right from then we were made to believe in Prince Charmings, happy endings, love stories etc. All our lives as little girls we lived with the hope that one day there would be a prince charming and a magical fairy tale-ish love story waiting for us. But then we grew up and reality hit us! We realized that there were no fairy tales, tooth fairies and santas. There were only compromises, mirages of happiness and an occassional person who gets lucky and finds true love. These fairy tales seem so distant now. I cannot believe that I actually ever believed them. But a part of me also envies that little me who was capable of such imagination and belief. Just when we had fallen in love with these fairy tales, society made us grow up and face facts. We had to become practical. And today, we’ve become so practical that we wonder who makes glass slippers? whether Rapunzel ever has split ends and why Snow White hadn’t been given glucose drips when she was in coma.
Today love seems like a theory to me. Which is understandable but not easily applicable. Most of us look around all our lives desparately hunting for love, often substituting it with other shallow meaningless relationships. We trick ourselves into believing that every tiny emotion is love because we are scared that the probability of two people who are made for each other actually meeting each other is against us.
A Couple/The World Population = 2/7000000000 = 2.85714286 × 10-10
Of course, Indian girls have the other option of arranged marriage, which after seeing the number above is a relief actually. You know that your parents will find some guy for you who is remotely like you and you have a remote chance, but a chance nevertheless at being happy. A lot of people criticize the Indian marriage system, but I’ve found that it does work at times. It has the same rate of success that love marriages have, and since the latter includes going out, socializing, finding a guy, getting him to like you – whoa! doesn’t sound like something people like me are capable of. From the time girls like me (who don’t get noticed much, have a small friends circle, cannot woo a guy, girls-only school types, who have more brains than beauty – you get the type) start noticing guys in that way we start picturing very fancy soul mates, as we don’t have a lot of experience with guys and don’t know what guys are actually like in a relationship. As a result our dream-boys usually have a mix of Shahrukh Khan‘s charms, Salman Khan‘s body and Hrithik Roshan‘s dance moves. So again, when reality hits and we notice the real, average-looking guys around us, most of our dreams are shattered.
When we were around 12-13 our ideal guy would have been someone who
- loved us
- danced/sang/painted/wrote poetry
- did gooey mushy romantic stuff for us
- agreed to every little whim and fancy that we had
- never looked at any other girl
- loved and respected his family
- etc etc etc.
around 5 years later, we come to a stage where we want a guy who
- doesn’t smoke/do drugs
- doesn’t have his jeans below his butt
- texts us every now and then
- doesn’t have too many whims and fancies that we have to agree to
- looks only at girls and not at guys
- atleast has a family and is still in contact with them
- etc etc etc
I wonder what will happen by the time we are 25?
So my basic question is, after all these confused notions of love which have been inspired by fairy tales, movies, books etc what are girls like me supposed to look forward to? A marriage which involves more family obligations, children and cooking than love? Or hope to some day be lucky enough to find that soul mate – however remote the chances may be! Is the modern Indian teenage girl more practical than romantic?