I looked at the view below me. The soft, bubbling water caressing the sands, playing with the loose shells, tickling my feet and enjoying its bliss. I smiled. As the gentle breeze combed through my hair, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was life. This was the reason for my very existence – my motivation and my calling. Call it what you like – exploring nature is what I loved doing the most. This beach for example, is the first I have ever been to in my whole life. Isn’t it exciting? To be able to live a life like this? I consider myself very lucky for all my experiences. As I inhaled in the wonderfully salty air, I could feel the water slowly receding back to into the ocean.

There is a soft beeping sound that lingers in the back of my head. I try to ignore it but it keeps getting louder and more annoying. And then it was all I could hear. I snapped my eyes open in anger. I couldn’t focus at anything first, but I could hear the muffled voices and feel the movement all around me as they adjusted the pipes and tubes and what not. Slowly, it came to me more clearly. I could see mom crying in the corner and Dr. Lewitt assuring her that I was going to be fine. I sighed. The dark, dingy hospital room suddenly became more real. The softness of the beach was slipping away fast. A single tear slipped down my cheek. I should have gone to a beach. I should have climbed a mountain – when I could.

Now I could see the rest of my life ahead in this hospital room. I would happily like to go, but it would tear mom apart. She had no one else. It wouldn’t be fair to her if I were to go and join dad. But I couldn’t bring myself to live like this either, stuck between doctors, medicines, tubes and masks. All for a freak accident – which could have happened to anyone – anyone at all; Then why me, I wondered. I should have learned to ride a bike, should have baked a cake, should have kissed a boy, should have coloured my hair green and should have gone to that beach. I wonder now, during the long useless hours I have here, why I would spend my time on mindless daily routines in the hope that it would someday help me to live my life. While the truth was, I had a life to live, at that very point – I just didn’t know it.

I watched the doctor asking his interns to describe the challenges in treatments for sudden cardiac arrest based on what they had just observed. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I climbed the last few steps and stopped to take a look at the fantastic view. Would you believe? – This is the first mountain I have ever climbed.


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